Baby Geniuses is a 1999 American family-oriented comedy film directed by Bob Clark. It stars Kathleen Turner and Christopher Lloyd.
The film has the distinction of being the first full-length feature to use Computer-generated imagery for the synthesis of human visual speech. 2D warping techniques were used to digitally animate the mouth viseme shapes of the babies which were originally shot with their mouths closed. The viseme shapes were sampled from syllables uttered by the babies on the set.
The Nostalgia Critic put the film at #7 on his Worst Movies list. Roger Ebert also stated that it was his worst film of 1999.
Two scientists, Dr. Elena Kinder (Kathleen Turner) and Dr. Heep (Christopher Lloyd) use genius-baby studies to fund BabyCo's theme park "Joyworld". According to Dr. Kinder's research on toddlers/babies, babies are born possessing vast, universal knowledge and speak a secret yet impossible-to-translate baby pre-language called Babytalk. However, at age 2–3, the knowledge and language are lost as the babies cross over by learning how to speak human languages. Most of the babies raised in Dr. Kinder's underground research facility were adopted from the Pasadena City orphanage, transformed into little geniuses through use of the Kinder Method, and then used in experiments to decipher this secret yet impossible-to-translate language used by the 7 baby-geniuses.
One mischievous toddler, Sylvester (the only one of her toddlers who was raised through use of the superior version of the Kinder Method), makes repeated attempts to escape Dr. Kinder's research facility and one night, Sylvester goes into a dirty diaper truck and he actually succeeds. The next morning, one thing Sylvester does not expect is to run into his long lost normal twin brother, Whit, in a mall playground. Although Sylvester and Whit share a telepathic bond, they have no idea of each other's existence. While the guards from Dr. Kinder's research facility capture Whit, mistaking him for Sylvester, and take him back to Dr. Kinder's research facility, Sylvester is taken home by Whit's adopted mother, Robin (Kim Cattrall), who is Dr. Kinder's niece. After Dr. Kinder and the six other baby-geniuses are shocked that Whit and Sylvester switched places at the mall, Dr. Kinder decides to do a cross evaluation on Sylvester and Whit. However, when she comes to the home of Robin's husband, Dan Bobbin (Peter MacNicol), where she realizes that Dan can understand babies. After the attempts to retrieve Sylvester fail, Dr. Kinder decides to move the research facility to Liechtenstein, and they have no chance but make Whit be the only normal baby to be raised in this research facility until they can find a possible way to get Sylvester back to her research facility.
The babies at Bobbin's place hypnotize Lenny (Dom DeLuise), the bus driver to drive to Dr. Kinder's research facility. Once at the research facility, Sylvester goes to the control room to set the robots from the theme park on the lab scientists. When the Bobbins return home, their natural daughter Carrie tells her father that the children are in Dr. Kinder's research facility. At the end of the fight, Dr. Kinder captures Whit and takes him to the helicopter pad on the roof. Robin and Dan chase them to the roof, where Dr. Kinder reveals that she and Robin are not related and that Robin was adopted at age two. After Dr. Kinder is arrested by the police, Sylvester and Whit come together on the roof to cross over.
Dan and Robin adopt Sylvester. And Dr. Heep is now in charge of Dr. Kinder's Research facility. Dan is still curious of the secrets of life; but, as the twins have crossed over, they no longer know those secrets. Carrie, their sister, doesn't reveal anything (just giving a sly smile) because adults aren't meant to know their secrets.
Why it Sucks
- Unbelievably stupid premise that babies are born with super intelligence and then lose it as they get older.
- The babies in this film act more like adults than actual babies, which is more disturbing than funny.
- Terrible CGI effects.
- Awkward acting.
- Overuse of wide-angle lens (especially in the opening).
- Unfunny and repetitive humor.
- Nightmarish animatronics.
- It has sequels! UGH!!!
- The phrase "diaper gravy" is used FOUR times, which is extremely annoying.
- Innuendo that is really inappropriate.
- It was directed by Bob Clark, the same director of A Christmas Story, one of the greatest Christmas films of all time.
- Christopher Lloyd doesn't look like himself. He just looks like he had plastic surgery done to his face to look younger.
- There are two more sequels.
- In one scene, a baby says the word "ass" in a kid's movie.
- The ending song is very nice. The same cannot be said of any of the later films.
Roger Ebert didn't review the film on it's day of release, but he did review it on his Worst Of 1999 program with guest critic Joel Siegel of Good Morning America. Instead, Roger and Joel reviewed The Matrix, which opened on the same day this film was released. Joel and Roger both gave The Matrix a “thumbs up”.