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The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is a 2012 (even though production for this film ended in 2009, akin to Foodfight!) American interactive adventure film for children directed by Matthew Diamond. It is the brainchild of Teletubbies marketer Ken Viselman, who could not obtain rights to make a movie based on said series due to his clashes with the series' creator and decided to use an obscure show based in Detroit called My Bedbugs to turn it into this. It was a critical and commercial disaster, grossing $1.1 million against a $20 million budget.

Plot

The film opens with an introduction explaining the interactive nature of the movie and introducing the Oogieloves, Goobie, Zoozie, and Toofie.

The Oogieloves awake to prepare a surprise birthday party for their living pillow Schluufy, with the aid of Windy Window the magical window, J. Edgar the vacuum cleaner (because toddlers will surely know who J. Edgar Hoover is) and Ruffy the fish. However, J. Edgar accidentally releases the five magical balloons they bought for Schluufy, so the Oogieloves set out to retrieve them.

The first balloon is found at the treehouse home of Dotty Rounder (Cloris Leachman) and her daughter Jubilee (Kylie Dakota), who is obsessed with circles. The second is found at the milkshake cafe of Marvin Milkshake (Chazz Palminteri), who has them participate in a milkshake contest for the balloon. The third balloon is found in possession of Rosalie Rosebud (Toni Braxton), a pop singer who denies her allergy to roses. The fourth balloon is by the truck of Bobbly Wobbly (Cary Elwes), a cowboy with an unusual walk. The last balloon is found on top of a windmill, where the Oogieloves retrieve it with the help of Lola and Lero Sombrero (Jaime Pressly and Christopher Lloyd), who ride a giant flying sombrero.

Just before they reach home with all the balloons, the Oogieloves accidentally release them again but blow kisses to persuade them to return. They then hold the surprise party for Schluufy, who did not awake until just before their return.

Why It Sucks

  1. This movie is intended to be seen by small children, yet it treats the audience even worse than North.
  2. Just being envisioned as a way for children to behave annoyingly through audience participation is a point against.
  3. The Oogieloves themselves are creepy-looking and even more grating than the Teletubbies. Schluufy and the side characters look even more unsettling.
  4. The songs are pointless and would rather be jeered at than danced to, such as the song about nasal congestion and the song about Penelope having bunions and being gassy.
  5. The plot is paper-thin.
  6. Poor attempts at comedy, whether there are running gags ("Goofy Toofie! Pick up your pants!") or lame puns (a tree house shaped like a teapot = a treepot).
  7. Weirdness and nonsense all around (wrong science facts, a Mexican walking like an Egyptian, and a Spanish person playing East-Indian music).
  8. Jubilee is treated sexually in a movie aimed at toddlers. Same when Toofie says "I can't wait to get the snipples again!"
  9. It wasted the talents of Christopher Lloyd, Cary Elwes, Chazz Palminteri, and others who were involved in it.
  10. It features a very creepy scene where Cary Elwes dresses as a cowboy and asks the Ooglieloves to come into the back of his truck for some "Bobbly Wobbly fun" indicating some kind of rape or sexual assault is about to happen. This again teaches kids to trust weird strangers who ask you if you'd like to get into their vehicle and they'd give you something.
  11. The infuriatingly stupid ending makes the whole journey seeking the balloons pointless, to begin with.

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